Psychologists often say that we often won’t let go of a negative situation because we’ve either not experienced enough pain with the situation or what we think of as pain is actually something we enjoy. In other words, there’s something that we are getting out of our so-called negative situation. In letting go of what you don’t want, try assessing the following:• Am I really, truly ready to move on from _______?
• And if so, what is stopping me?
• Or, am I really getting something out this negative situation?
You may find that even in a bad situation, you want to hang on to it because it validates your negative thoughts or opinions that you might have of yourself. My husband had a sciatic nerve problem in his right hip. He’s had it since I’ve known him which is over twenty years. Every single night before bed, he’d complain about that hip and would pound away at it. All my massage of Tim's hip was in vain, too, as his hip would seemingly freeze solid.
But, last summer, we went to an amazing massage therapist in Taos, New Mexico. After my husband’s massage, I asked the therapist how it went and he told me he fixed my husband’s sciatic nerve problem. I told him that I was glad that his hip wouldn’t bother him that evening. He then looked straight at me and said matter of factly that Tim’s hip would never bother him again. I was astonished.
Tim came out looking like a new man and on the way home we discussed if he was really ready to let go of his nightly companion of pain. He said he was and I had to consider it and came to the conclusion that I, too, was ready for his hip pain to go.
You see, we get used to pain. We become accustomed to things being bad that it becomes the “way things are” for us.
Over a year ago, on my way to a size 14, I told myself that I was no longer going to criticize myself and the way I looked. I stopped all negative self-talk. I truly count this as the source of my undoing when I would try to make changes before. To date, I held on to more than 15 pounds of negative self-talk and almost three dress sizes of self-critical comments. I’ve gone from XL tops to Medium, from size 12-14 to 10’s and on my way to size 8.
Letting go is sometimes the best way to find ourselves.
To lose weight, I had to stop criticizing myself, but I also made different choices. The choices I made were sustaining ones – ones that now are my life. I didn’t go on a diet, I changed my lifestyle because it was my eating lifestyle that was getting me into trouble. One cautionary note is that you have to be completely honest with yourself. Do you enjoy your pain – is it a crutch, something to hold on to and blame for everything else in your life that makes you unhappy or goes wrong? Most of us at any single time have a solitary thing that makes us the most unhappy. I know someone who has serious neck problems but is scared to death of having spinal surgery that would make him pain-free. This person would rather have the pain and keep it, like an old friend, than be free and unrestricted from it. Ask yourself what you’re holding on to and consider what you want to let go of.
Ask yourself what you’re holding on to and consider what you want to let go of. That could include any of the following:• Weight
• Pain
• People who hurt you
• Objects that you dislike or make you unhappy
• Ideas or concepts about yourself that are harmful or no longer useful
• Situations, like jobs or relationships that make you unhappy
• Clutter, paper, clothes, objects, furniture
• A mole, a wart, a physical aspect about yourself that you dislike
• Inconveniences or burdens on your time and energy
• Other people’s problems that are “given” to you
• Something that’s eluded you, like success, money, love, a certain clothing size
These are just a few of the common things that you might want to move on from. If so, this is the time to do it. The fall is a time of letting go and then starting over. Give serious thought to making the one change that could make the biggest difference in your life.
Letting go of the pain and frustration in your life unblocks your life so you can receive what you want – and that even includes ideas. And if you’re frustrated by an idea, such as lack of success, then give it up. Let go of your attachment. You might find your biggest gains come from letting go.
Kathryn Weber is the publisher of the Red Lotus Letter Feng Shui E-zine and certified feng shui consultant in classical Chinese feng shui. Kathryn helps her readers improve their lives and generate more wealth with feng shui. For more information and to receive her FREE Ebook "Easy Money - 3 Steps to Building Massive Wealth with Feng Shui" visit www.redlotusletter.com and learn the fast and fun way how feng shui can make your life more prosperous and abundant!
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