CHING MING ETIQUETTE

Here are some Dos and Donts during Ching Ming:

1. One must pray first to Tua Pek Kong (大伯公) or Da Bo Gong in Mandarin upon arrival at the cemetery before offering prayers to the departed souls. This is to show respect to Tua Pek Kong who is the diety in-charge of cemetery. It is also said that Tua Pek Kong will protect those people, who showed respect to him first, from any evil spirits present.
2. One must also offer prayers to the "Hou Tu" or the guardian of the tomb first before praying to the ancestors as a show of respect.
3. Do offer joss-sticks to the souls whose graves are next to that of the ancestors. This is part of the social etiquette as a PR exercise to boost the ancestor's social standing with his/her neighbours.
4. When offering joss-sticks to the ancestors, the oldest members of the family will offer them first and followed by the rest in order of seniority.
5. Try not to eat the food offered for prayers at the grave because of the yin qi and also the place might not be too hygienic.
6. Grave visiting or tomb sweeping can be done within a period of 10 days before or 10 days after the actual Ching Ming day.
7. Wear some protective amulets when going for Ching Ming as cemeteries and memorial parks are places where there is a lot of yin or negative energies.
8. Do not use foul language, swear or laugh too loudly at the graveyard as this is a sign of disrespect for the departed souls.
9. Do not ease yourself all over the place.
10. Ladies should not wear clothes that are too revealing as a sign of respect for the dead.
11. Try not to step on the tombs of others.
12. Try not to wear black when going for Ching Ming as this colour easily attracts yin energy and also evil spirits.
13. After praying at the graves, do not return home immediately as you might bring with you the negative energy and also evil spirits back home. Instead go to a place where there are a lot of people and lots of noise first. Try the supermarket, department store or a restaurant.
14. Take a bath immediately after returning from performing the Ching Ming prayers. It would be even better to bathe in water that has been soaked in pomelo leaves.
15. Make sure that the following four items are included when offering prayers: 1. wine 2. food 3. joss papers and joss sticks 4. fresh flowers.
16. If possible, pregnant ladies should not be allowed to go for Ching Ming. Why? One is because of the yin qi and two is because of the evil spirits that might be lurking at the graveyard.