Saturday, 24 January 2015

"Living with a Clutterbug...Could it secretly be your problem?"

Excerpt from my Free & Clear Program Clutter Program
By Kathryn Weber

What do you do when you have a clutter bug under your roof? How can you get a loved one to part with old, holey shirts and a baseball card collection that's gone wild?

Maybe it's the problem of storing a sofa in the garage for your nephew or a friend. Or, you have a kid that's gone off to college (and graduated five years ago?) and so you're the repository of all the said student's stuff?

Here's what I can about about other people's stuff -- it's really your stuff.

Going WAY back to the beginning of the Free & Clear Forever program, we talked about the ability to say no

Clutter is about boundaries. And if you have them (boundaries that is), other people's clutter usually isn't a big problem.

Being clear about what's acceptable or what isn't to you, often solves the problem. It's a lot like babies and bottles.

Lots of moms talk about not being able to get the baby off a bottle and on a sippy cup.

Here's why: they expect the baby to make the decision, and that's a mistake.

Once the mom is decisive and explains that the new cup is now the norm, the baby will go along. I know. This is how every transition my children ever made occurred.

When I made the decision, they went along.

When we waffle, hope and pray they'll accept the sippy cup, big bed from a crib, limits on TV or whatever, no decision is being made by me or them, and they blissfully go on the way they want.

The other problem with other people's clutter? It could be you.

Karen Kingston in her seminal book, "Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui," writes that even a neatnik who has problems with a clutterbug is really only seeing a reflection of themselves.

Stay with me here....

When there is someone that's cluttered and unclear in your home, it's often a reflection of something cluttered in us -- unresolved issues, upset emotions, unclear boundaries, muddled thinking, indecisiveness, etc.

A good example is the person who's neat as a pin, but an emotional mess. Or, is always running with her hair on fire.

Clutter doesn't have to be stuff -- it can be emotions, stress, upset, time demands, or pure and simple overwhelm.

Maybe the clutter is on the inside.

If that's the case, you might find that the others in your home are reflecting your cluttered inner life.

Remember, when it comes to feng shui our inner world mirrors our outer world and vice versa.

So, how do you get straight -- and get others to clear their mess?

•Set limits on your time. Don't let others soak up every bit of your precious hours.

•Set boundaries, "I can no longer store your 800 CD music collection. Please move it out by the first of the month."

•Resolve open issues. You can't move forward when you're moving in in reverse. Stuck in something that happened to you? Get therapy or seek out help. EMDR is a type of therapy that can help you move past trauma. Network chiropractic is a gentle type of chiropractic that helps you release old traumas that become stuck in your body. Try both a physical and emotional clearing.

•Decide. Many times we put off decisions hoping they'll be made for us. I can guarantee you that any decision made for you is never as satisfying as a decision made by you.

•Handle problems. We all have problems and difficulty. What's the ONE thing that's holding you back in your life? Usually it's just one thing (and it usually relates to a decision that needs to be made). Get it handled and it could energetically unblock your home.

•Clear your thinking. If you're an emotional or stressed-out mess, try learning to meditate or doing yoga or tai chi. Find a way to make some mental clear space in your mind.

Once your inner world becomes uncluttered and clear, it's amazing how our resident clutter bugs may spontaneously want to clear out, organize and get their belongings and neat and orderly as yours.

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