Wednesday 11 January 2012

THE SOURCE OF ALL MY WORRIES



I have been under a lot of stress lately as I find my mum becoming more and more difficult to handle.  She is losing her sense of time and keeps insisting that the next day is Chinese New Year.  Today she has called me no less than 4 times to tell me that the electric supply and water supply will be cut.  This is her delusion as the bills are paid promptly by me.  She gets paranoid over small things and drives me crazy by repeating them over and over again to me.  I am getting more and more frustrated as she is acting more and more odd with each passing day.  The worst thing is that she is fearful about drinking and eating as she says that the food makes her stomach bloated and she becomes constipated.  This has resulted her becoming very weak and fainting frequently.  Her doctor says that if she continues to not eat, then she might end up with renal failure.  Then that would make the situation worse.
I do hope that it is just her suffering a bout of depression because her life force is very low at the moment.  If she starts to lose more and more of herself, then I might have to consider sending her to a nursing home to be cared for.
My friend Asiah, said that what I am going through is a test from God.  Believe me, it is indeed painful to see my mum becoming more and more infirm and childlike.  At the same time, she is really sapping me mentally and emotionally.  In short, my mother is the source of all my worries. I think I have aged 10 years recently because of all my worrying and the stress I am getting.
Thank goodness, my sister and her sons are back in Ipoh.  They will be looking in on her and taking a load off my back for a few days.

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