I MISS MY MUMMY

When I saw this poem, I thought about my late mother.  When she was alive and very sick, I don't think I did enough to make her feel better.  At times I was angry with her and also snapped at her.  She was suffering from dementia and would keep blaming the maid for stealing her things.
Once she told the neighbours that we starved her and they over to confront my sister and I.  The actual fact was that she had already eaten but forgot about it.
Once when she was in the hospital, she told the nurses and the patients there that, I had abandoned her. The moment I reached the ward the patients next to her bed started to scold me for being such a bad daughter.  Even the nurses advised me not to abandon my mum.  Little did they know that I had driven at breakneck speed from Sitiawan to the hospital in Ipoh to see my mum once I was informed.   She was a hypochondriac and kept saying she was sick when she was not.  To make us believe her, she'd starve herself or not take her medication to become sick. At one time, my sister Lilian and I were contemplating on selling our house in Ipoh to put her in a special nursing home. We were told that the monthly bill was around RM2,000 excluding the plus, plus.   I told the nurses and patients at the hospital that if my mum were really abandoned in the hospital as she said, no one would have come. When they saw that I went three times a day to visit her and got my sisters and their families to come, they then realised that the problem was with my mum and were very apologetic.
The thing is now that my mum is no more, I feel really guilty for not being kinder and more understanding.  In her demented state, she became weak and fragile.  I am angry with myself for not taking more time to spend with her and exercised more patience.
Now all I have are memories of her.