Monday 2 June 2008

GIFT-GIVING CHINESE STYLE

Gift-giving is a customary formality and an expression of appreciation for a dining invitation. The Chinese are generous and will rarely enter a friend’s home—especially for the first time—empty-handed. It’s a sign of respect, acceptance of friendship, and thanks for the privilege of being invited. Gift-giving is a way to maintain "face." It allows the guest to reciprocate the invitation with an advance token. The hostess will usually remark that a gift was not necessary, and that the guest shouldn’t have gone through the trouble for just a "small, simple" meal. But, when this comment is translated into Chinese thought, it’s a compliment, because the action of your generosity and effort will leave a lasting impression.
The appropriate gift item often depends on your relationship to the Chinese host, hostess, and family. When visiting a relative’s home, food items are appropriate, such as fresh seasonal fruit (oranges, apples, Asian pears, persimmons), candy, cookies, Chinese preserved fruit, and cured beef jerky. If visiting during the day, dim sum, pastries, and buns are also appropriate. Chinese elders would especially appreciate luxury items such as dried black mushrooms, dried scallops, shark’s fin, bird’s nest, Chinese sausage, canned abalone, tea, a bottle of rice wine, or even mao tai. When compiling the gift package, select an odd, or yang, number of items, as it relates to the living. Eight is also a good number because it connotes prosperity. Never give four items; the number four is bad luck because it sounds like the word for death.
Gifts for business and social acquaintances are more formal. Appropriate items could reflect the hosting family’s interests and hobbies, such as sports memorabilia, illustrated or pictorial coffee-table books, decorative items for the home, a bottle of fine whisky or cognac, gourmet chocolates, or other luxury items. If the hosts have children, popular choices are toys, games, and play clothes with contemporary cartoon characters.
Always present wrapped gifts to your host. Consider wrapping in color fortuitous to the Chinese: red, gold, yellow, or pink. Avoid wrapping in white or black, as they are associated with funerals. Also reconsider green (the color of separation) and blue (the color of mourning).
Never give a clock because the Chinese associate it with death; the word for clock, jung, sounds like the Cantonese word for funeral. Watches, on the other hand, are popular and contemporary accessories, as well as being functional. Knives or scissors are inappropriate gifts especially for business associates, as these items represent severing ties. The Taiwanese don’t give umbrellas because the word for “umbrella” sounds like separation. Handkerchiefs and white flowers are off-limits because they are also associated with funerals. Nowadays giving cut flowers is becoming more acceptable as a hostess gift because of relaxed belief with the old superstitions. But little ladies like Auntie Lao would still cringe at the sight of them. When in doubt, give a living potted plant.
It is not customary for the Chinese to open gifts in front of the giver. They will graciously accept the gift and put it aside for opening after the guests have departed. The purpose of this custom is twofold. First, the Chinese consider impatience and selfishness taboo. Second, it spares embarrassment to the giver and receiver should the gift not be pleasing, thus “saving face” for all involved. Moreover, the Chinese typically do not send thank-you notes, although many have adopted this gesture in America, depending on the situation in which a gift was bestowed. Because the gratitude has been expressed in person at the time of receiving the gift, the Chinese feel another written formality is redundant.
Always present and accept a gift with two hands as a sign of respect, reverence, and sincerity.

Source: http://www.goodlucklife.com/excerpt.html

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