In my previous post, I blogged about my student, Ming Shen getting a lai see from his mum for good luck in a competition. Well, let me tell you that this 17-year old boy went through a very traumatic experience a week ago.
When he went to school for debate training last Monday afternoon, he told me that his very good friend had died. He kept repeating it over and over again. Throughout the week, he acted differently than he usually did. He did things to get noticed and also wanted a lot of attention. I knew something was wrong but only told him that his friend had died and there was nothing he could do about him. He just had to pull himself together and try not to dwell on the matter.
It was only on Friday afternoon, when we were on the way to Ipoh for the debate that he related the whole incident to me and two of his fellow team mates. The accident happened on Friday when he and his friend, Andy Ooi, had finished their basketball practice. Andy had been his friend since Standard 5. They were going home on their own motorbikes. Andy was in front and Ming Shen was following from behind when suddenly the driver of one Kancil tried to avoid a lorry. The driver swerved and hit Andy who was flung on to the bonnet of the car on impact. The windscreen was smashed and the poor boy was badly injured. Ming Shen had witnessed the whole gory scene and he had the good sense to call for an ambulance. According to him, the driver of the Kancil was also in shock. When the ambulance came, he accompanied his friend in it to the hospital. At the Emergency Room he was holding on to his friend and he said that the last words that the boy said to him was, "So painful". Ming Shen said that the collar bone and the ribs of his friend were all smashed and he witnessed it all. Since that day, he says that every night when he wants to go to sleep he re-experiences the trauma. He gets flashbacks and intrusive memories that remind him of the dreadful event. Actually I felt very sad when I heard the whole story and finally understood why he was behaving strangely. Even during the debate, he went blank for a few times. He wasn't like that previously. I told myself that I would make an appointment with him to meet the school counsellor next week. I am sure that might help.
I think taking part in the debate and staying at the hostel in Ipoh also did him a world of good. And before I forget, we lost the debate but in a way it was a blessing in disguise as that took his mind off the death of his friend. He and his team-mates were not too happy with the judges' decision and they were all upset that they lost after weeks of hard work.
According to my friend, Kamariah, the Muslims usually seek the help of a religious person to say prayers for a traumatised person. Similarly the Taoist also have such a practice. We usually get a monk or a holy person to recite prayers for the person and also get the person to have a flower bath. If possible, the person too should recite prayers as a way to calm himself and soothe his soul.
When he went to school for debate training last Monday afternoon, he told me that his very good friend had died. He kept repeating it over and over again. Throughout the week, he acted differently than he usually did. He did things to get noticed and also wanted a lot of attention. I knew something was wrong but only told him that his friend had died and there was nothing he could do about him. He just had to pull himself together and try not to dwell on the matter.
It was only on Friday afternoon, when we were on the way to Ipoh for the debate that he related the whole incident to me and two of his fellow team mates. The accident happened on Friday when he and his friend, Andy Ooi, had finished their basketball practice. Andy had been his friend since Standard 5. They were going home on their own motorbikes. Andy was in front and Ming Shen was following from behind when suddenly the driver of one Kancil tried to avoid a lorry. The driver swerved and hit Andy who was flung on to the bonnet of the car on impact. The windscreen was smashed and the poor boy was badly injured. Ming Shen had witnessed the whole gory scene and he had the good sense to call for an ambulance. According to him, the driver of the Kancil was also in shock. When the ambulance came, he accompanied his friend in it to the hospital. At the Emergency Room he was holding on to his friend and he said that the last words that the boy said to him was, "So painful". Ming Shen said that the collar bone and the ribs of his friend were all smashed and he witnessed it all. Since that day, he says that every night when he wants to go to sleep he re-experiences the trauma. He gets flashbacks and intrusive memories that remind him of the dreadful event. Actually I felt very sad when I heard the whole story and finally understood why he was behaving strangely. Even during the debate, he went blank for a few times. He wasn't like that previously. I told myself that I would make an appointment with him to meet the school counsellor next week. I am sure that might help.
I think taking part in the debate and staying at the hostel in Ipoh also did him a world of good. And before I forget, we lost the debate but in a way it was a blessing in disguise as that took his mind off the death of his friend. He and his team-mates were not too happy with the judges' decision and they were all upset that they lost after weeks of hard work.
According to my friend, Kamariah, the Muslims usually seek the help of a religious person to say prayers for a traumatised person. Similarly the Taoist also have such a practice. We usually get a monk or a holy person to recite prayers for the person and also get the person to have a flower bath. If possible, the person too should recite prayers as a way to calm himself and soothe his soul.
Ming Shen also told me that Andy was a very nice person. He said that those who knew him for a day would take a liking to him. He couldn't fathom why his friend had to die so young. His Muslim friends consoled him by saying that "Maybe God loves him more and had wanted to call Andy back to be with him". It was so sweet of them to want to try to make their friend feel better. Finally, I want to say "May Andy rest in peace and be with his Creator in heaven".
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